We Learn

Sometimes it just makes me wonder if we ever learn from past mistakes. Sometimes the situation makes it so tempting to make you give in for the second time. And the second time around, with you being aware of the consequences and possibilities of history repeating itself, you are at the verge of allowing possibilites to become reality.

But its not all bad, not all the time.

Discovering for yourself what really makes you tick is somewhat a huge finding.
I'd say that its a gray area that I am ready to explore at the moment.
You'll never know whats around that corner until you go around it. Risky as it is, I guess I'm prepared.

Without risks there can be no returns; I lived by.

A Spike in my Wallet

Comfort shopping is my weakness.

Oh let me correct this, its not comfort shopping, I wasnt comforting myself through hurting my wallet. Hehe.

It was something you lay your eyes on. But did nothing when you first saw it.

...

Then it just keeps playing in your mind, kept playing and kept playing.
In-born talent to remember things to the details. Certain things.
Until one day I just couldnt take it anymore and the result was :

A spike in my wallet.

Many of us are aware of the harm that UV rays can do to us, although most of us took care of the skin, and more often than not, forgot about the eyes. I'd rather get sun burnt that be blind.

Hence the need for protection.

*sounds so damn self-comforting

Mindful Babble

Bummer. I was trying to complete and post a bulletin on friendster when the connection just went poof. Only on Friendster. Bulletin are quite fun things to do ya know (kudos to those who came up with lists of questions that seemed to tackle a person's emotion all round).

So lets put that Friendster thingy behind. I've been trying to refresh the page and all that, without copying my post in the first place, so its all lost now. That was a darn Long posting Okay... and its now lost. Bah.

Freak weather we get these days. Its chilling at night when I sleep. But the feeling was just nice, I dread to get out of bed in these perfect sleeping conditions.

Its funny how you get yourself used to the people at work each and every day. One scan at the work area and you know who's in and who's not. It's also amazing how a simple smile can make people's day. You don't have to know them to acknowledge them. It's a kind of respect you show for people. Smiles and nods are polite, but staring is rude.

I guess I'm just pleased with how things are right now.

"Do you know what a compromise is?
Its not bending the law, its an agreement reached by mutual concessions."

A compromise wont hurt you in the long run.

Apocalypse with a capital "a" means Revelation

Little things that makes you laugh.

What if we were told that the world is going to end tomorrow? What would you do?
Will you still care about your status in the society, the amount of money you make, the car you drive, the place you live in? Will the chase for material greed still go on?

If humans unite at world's end, I'd rather it be doomsday.
If status, gender, race and religion don't matter anymore, I'll welcome doomsday.

"The end of the world is a great equaliser - who gives a rat's behind about race, religion and social status when your brain is about to be eaten?"

Raindrops

*thinks hard*

What the heck. Why is it that each time when I'm driving my car, I have all those thoughts running through my head (those things that I wanna blog about!!); but when I am sitting here trying to type it out by recalling those thoughts, I get nothing!

This is frustrating...

Ever divide rationality into categories?
*wth*

Let's say you were eyeing something expensive at the mall. You heart says go for it. But your mind tells you that you should get the hell out right now. Then comes the rational-thinking-process. You've decided against the urge. You tell yourself that you will not buy it this time, because its an unnecessary waste of money. So you do whatever necessary to get yourself out of the stressful situation you put yourself under; by removing the stress factor.

A different look at this matter. Let's say Money is not an issue, at all. Rational thinking might not be needed after all. You get what you want and when you want it, with your monetary power. *removes alot of stress factor, doesn't it?

Whenever there is a stress factor, there is the need for the ability to reason. But how some people just couldn't see how things are simple and straight forward is still beyond my comprehension. They complicate things that are far from complicated. Add more stress factors to an already stressed out mind. Rational, they claim they are.

You need logic and sense to be rational. Not the ability to twist facts just so it's easier for you to take in.

Learn how to appreciate things that you have. Be grateful and thankful that you have what you have today; achieved what you had achieved today. Greed only takes you as deep as your pocket, moderation takes you beyond.

Argh

Screw that last post.

What goes around comes around. *Repeat 100x*

Meeeoooooowwwhh!

Untitled

I never felt so defeated all my life.
Makes me want to just stab and club you with each and every single tool I can find here.
....

So pissed, I am.

Get Lost in Music

I want to do nothing except to get lost in music with my trusty sidekick.

What's on my playlist is *secret*.

Do we look Weak?

Do we look weak when we let ourselves succumb to emotional letdowns?

Or do we pride in being able to pick ourselves up from the shittiest moments?

If ever we could avoid anything like this, there won't be any chances to better ourselves and also be a stronger person emotionally and mentally.

When people talk to you about their emotional sufferings, listen instead of offering your-point-of-views. Most of the time people who are in deep shit usually have part of their brains shut; simply means that they just cannot absorb things regarding issues close to them at that point of time.

I am starting to think that I'm a little bonkers. Heartache is a pleasure. It triggers my mind. It makes me think. I enjoyed putting the pieces of puzzles together. The prize for putting it together; priceless. It just thrills me.

Mugged

I was on my way to meet up my friends at one of my friend's place, a two storey shop lot. The commercial centre was a quite remote, away from the bustling city, amongst a rapidly developing housing estate but scarcely populated.

A total of 10 lots per block. A 2 metre wide pavement lined the shop front. White flourescent lights illuminate the otherwise dark area. The entire stretch of shops are lighted up.

I walked down the walkway towards my friend's place. Weirdly enough, its totally dark from where I stand. I was at the car park next to the stretch of shoplots. My friend's place would be the second last unit from where I stand.
I was never afraid of the dark, so I walked on. Being mugged was the last thing on my mind. Never crossed my mind either. Almost 10 metres to the entrance, I see shadows of people moving in right in front of me. One, two, three, four, five, six. From their silhouettes, they are obviously men. Besides that my earlobes picks up sounds of grunts and alot of spitting. Argh..bloody disgusting.

I filled my thoughts with the possibility of being mugged for real; it just comes spinning into my conscious mind. As if on cue, I found myself speeding up the stairs, while trailing me were heavy stompings. I knew I was in trouble. I don't have time to figure out what was actually happening. I screamed for my friends to let me in, as the stompings get louder, they are getting nearer. Faster, damn it! Friends saw my terrified face and the moment I got in, I hit it shut, and locked it immediately.

Beast of men they were, they try to break their way in. Beasts they were, it gets harder with each blow towards the door. There is no such thing as steel grill or any form of reinforcement governing the door. The knob is the only silver shiny thing you can find on the door. Damn it.

While the door could still take in a couple more hard blows, I am worried about one thing: the knob. It seemed to loosen with each blow. Bang bang bang, and more bangs. The knob holding back the threat is now vulnerable, it was about to get ripped off.

*---*"

Fantastic dream.
I don't remember what happened after the guys got in. I remembered being assulted, and was asked to hand over things I can't recall. It's about me and door knobs. Door knobs.

Hey, give me a number for door knobs, I think I should get a bit of windfall through all the knobs I dreamnt of. haha.
Don't play play, if ever you dream about Andy Lau, there's a number for it too. So what not for a knob, huh?! =P

4 In the Morning

Effortless.
I don't even know if I meant what I said.
Emotions were strong, the feeling was intense.

But what does it all mean? To me? Was I in for another round of getting things messed up?

I could not give you the kind of acceptance you get from other people.
I am well aware of that, and nor was I hoping for things to change.
Things happen for a reason, and I have every piece of evidence to back that statement.

I am not who I used to be.
Complicated things are not complicated anymore.
Difficult issues are a breeze to me now.
I saw through it.

Been there, done that. Nothing else too difficult.

Devil's Horns

You don't see what the problem is, don't you?
Hehe. The dish is useless without the steel feed horn that holds the actuator that. You see the problem now?? Just like AXN claimed, "TV is useless without AXN". An ASTRO dish is useless without the Horn~

When I saw this, my jaw dropped. The previous tenant decided to scrape/unscrew/rip everything that he can take along with him. I can't comprehend why he did what he did; taking the trouble to climb up there and rip the horn from the dish, instead of taking the whole thing down. You see his ill means? "Want to watch astro? Get a new one. You cant do shit without the Horn *HAHA*". Damn. We all know they don't sell that bloody Horn as a seperate item. So doink.

Or, we can see it this way. He practically Talked to you about "Oh, you can use it". Who the hell would have thought that was actually a hint that you should at least pay them part of the installation money??

This is so unbelievable.

The next time you feel like strangling your neighbour over singing along to every song featured on MTV, don't do so, you could land yourself in jail. Rip off the Horn off your neighbour's dish.

Bothered

Over the weekend,

I saw a FAT Persian who was bothered to go chase after a FAT rat.
I thought it was kinda cute. At least he wasn't just sitting around slapping his tail onto the marble floor repeatedly in a monotonous, equal intervals between slaps. And a few other cute felines lying around.

Watched Ghost Rider. A waste of Nicholas Cage's dashing good looks in exchange of a burning skull that goes Whooosh...Fiery..

Points to ponder. Can a same reasoning method can be applied to all things?
It's an abstract question and doesn't necessarily has a clear answer. It's a matter of opinion and your take on the question.

Happy Chinese New Year!

It's the time of the year when...
You eat like its nobody's business
3 meals daily became 7
Indulging in ALOT of cookies and cakes is not sinful
Fireworks and firecrackers are legal though its banned~
Old Town Cafe became the most happenning place in town
and not surprisingly, ALL gatherings were held there..

It's high time of the year when...
You dig deep into your vocabulary reserves for the sweetest of greetings (and not to mention, longest)
Your sense of dressing gets judged publicly
and your hair
and your shoes
Interrogations interrogations interrogations
Questions are thrown smack at your face and this time around, they demand answers.

Memorable moments:
A reunion with the people I've known the longest, 20 years. woohoo!
The best part about the reunion is seeing how people you've known for the past decade became who they are today. Past conflicts forgotten, friendships renewed.

I find myself still talking about my late doggie. I don't think I'd ever have another dog like that. It's hard to settle for a less smarter one. Sigh. Plus I'm not allowed to get one any sooner, cos mum demands that I take care of my own doggie, not just leave it hanging around the house while I'm away in KL. Ish. I miss seeing Dan jumping up and down in excitement upon seeing my car at the front gate. I miss seeing Dan and his best mate the crazycat playing with each other. I miss seeing Dan chewing crazycat's ears til its dripping wet with saliva. I miss seeing his frightened face whenever the lightning strikes. He's so loveable.

Unwind unwind

What better way to unwind after a long day at work?

Life's been hectic. Nothing else besides work. Other than the necessities like food and enough rest. Imagine laying motionlessly on the bed when its only barely 1030pm. But at least I get a really good rest each night, the last thing I saw is the 1030 on the wall clock the night before, and the next on the line was 8am on my alarm.

Sleeping is after all a big deal. Heh. I recalled someone once said that sleeping at the wrong times of the day, might affect your mood, ie getting up a little moody or at the Off side.. However I never sleep on afternoons (otherwise I'm under medication due to sickness). Some just pig the afternoon away. I wish I could. Perhaps others arent gifted with that, so I'm gona try to discover that hidden 'talent'.

Being a close friend to others doesn't mean you know every single detail about the person's whereabouts, what they are up to, and Everything about that person. Some people just don't get it. Hence the phrase "You're closer to this person, you should know it better than I do". Even in relationships, the idea of "reporting all the time" is just so not necessary.

Its funny how these people just prefer the shortcut way of winning over the person they claimed to love. As in finding out about a person from a third party. I don't see how they can put the information they get to good use. You can go "Oh this person is like this this and that. Cos someone said so". Cos someone said so? Nah, cos you don't know shit about what you're dealing with. How can you claim that you love someone when you'd prefer to find out about that particular person through someone else? But at the same time, I cannot deny the fact that sometimes when we're too focused on something, we sometimes lose our judgements. Your mind shrinked, everything narrows down when it comes to this. Therefore its only normal to seek a third party person, to shed some light on the matter.

But what if seeking for advise goes out of way? What about when suspicion and doubt were thrown at your "light shedding speech"? You cant possibly expect everyone's point of view to be exactly the same as yours. Just don't work this way.

I guess that things are clearer when you see things the way they are, your own untainted opinions and through your own observation. You should know where this is going, and how its gona be, not what others tell you. It's not a one or two day thing, it takes time. Shortcuts don't work all the time. You're still clueless about the whole thing in the end.

A Child's Duty

A mother's broken heart. One with shattered hopes and dreams of seeing her offspring becoming somebody in life. It wasn't high hopes she placed upon them, it's just what a mother would want for them, a sufficiently good life. A mother's wasted efforts to pave way for a better future when all others failed.

A child's responsibility. A child old enough to understand the consequences of his/her actions should know the difference between right and wrong and should to be capable of obeying
the unwritten law of being filial.

Part of growing up is being under constant peer pressure. It's a subconscious thing we feel that drives us to do things that we otherwise won't see ourselves doing. It gives you that sudden uumph that makes you brave for one second, and do whatever you did in that mere second.

Friends are the most important people, besides your immediate family members, that might permanently affect the way your life take shape. For better or worse. Put the wrong company, the inability to reason and prioritize together and go figure. Can't exactly blame their friends entirely, cos sometimes its not a choice. It happens by chance, when reasoning is something they hadn't learnt at that point of their lives, yet it was the time when they were introduced to the worse of all companies. Using age as a scale of which we place our expectations on is however not quite fair due to differences in personal and psychological maturation, expectations does not correspond to a particular age for every person.

The pain root deep into the parents hearts. Deep down they knew they have to do something about it, but simply ran out of steam by now. Realisation of their wrongdoings doesnt come by overnight. After all, Rome wasn't build in a day. But what are the options they are left with?

I pray for things to get better.

We are in an era where technology are indirectly pushing crime rates higher. During our age, we don't skip classes just to go to the internet cafe. Gone are those days where you see kids running around in the front porch, making up imaginary cooking sessions made out of leaves and treebranches. We can do everything with a couple of clicks on the mouse. Couple of key presses and we're done with what used to take an entire morning of running around town. It's a matter of convenience, but I guess everyone abuse it. Couch potato reinvented. Perhaps the cause of the rising rate of obesity lies there. I'm not against everything wired. In fact I do most of my things in front of the screen. Bills and everything else. I'm strolling that line for a living yo~. It's just that the drastic changes it has on people nowadays that sometimes gives me headspins.

p/s: Oh peeps, check out PointBlanc's IpohMali. Its a great song with fantastic lyrics. (He was former PoeticAmmo's rapper)

-.-+

Damn. I was about to write a piece about my thoughts when a lizard attacked a 6 legged insect that omits a foul odor...

Perfect...

Straightjacket Feeling

Hate is a strong word.
It's a four letter word we always confuse with anger and confusion.
It's a Four letter word besides the F word we often abuse.
It's the word we use on things we don't like.
It's the word we use on people we don't fancy or had something against.

Love is an equally strong word.
It's a four letter word we always confuse with liking and infatuation.
It's a four letter word besides Miss that we often misuse.
It's the word we use to describe our fondness for someone or something.
It's the word we use on people we claim to like or had something for.

But how can we hate someone we claim to love? Or used to love? It had always been a gray area, love and hate. Without any clear line seperating two of the strongest emotions a person can ever experience, we rely solely on our own judgements. It takes a strong mind to get over all the emotional attacks thrown at you. Self-destruction is by choice, it's not the only way out.

Before you start screaming that your life is giving you a hard time, think twice. It happens to everyone else. It's a test of will, faith and trust. It takes a lifetime to forget someone. A quest you might never find an ending. It's something you'd have to live with for the rest of your life. Along with decisions we might regret, or be grateful that you made.

It's these experiences in life that will make us a stronger person.

Paint

"There are some experiences in life which shouldn't be demanded twice from any man" - George Bernard Shaw



Home sweet home.
Grass is greener, air is fresher, time crawls.
What's better than waking up each day (un-military style~) to a hot cup of coffee and breakfast served?
What's better than getting out of bed each day just to have breakfast with ya family and go back to sleep?

Ahh...

Anyway, I took sis' CLK to KL. Pleasant ride. Maiden trip out of town, and so far south to central Malaysia. But I reckon it was a pleasant one. And oh, the news that grazed the cover recently, the tropical storm, I experienced it first hand.


I drove with 150% care!

Yummy. Perfect weather conditions.
Looks like a tornado/cyclone, but its not. Just a bunch of dark angry clouds.
You should be able to tell of why it took so long to get to the north as compared down south. Picturesque. Believe me, it looked even better off-the-picture.
Thong-wearing bus? Interesting.

I know..keeping your hands and eyes busy while driving is dangerous, but I can't resist~

Does that make you wanna go out of KL right this moment?

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year, people!

Nothing new. I start the new year almost the same every year. Getting a ticket for faulty tail lights was so last year. This year, it was a "blast". I meant it, literally. The year that was ended with a game of badminton, junior against the seniors. The match ended a draw, cos we ran out of time. All of us got ourselves a good shower (a cold one~) and headed to Neway, Cheras. I'm just a bathroom singer, not public. (I still don't understand why we had to travel all the way from Megah to Cheras for the same place we can get at Bandar Utama. It's not like anyone's gonna spend the final moments of 2006 in a cramped room singing our lungs out) Or why a karaoke session at all? Why not we just pig out on food and talk crap instead? Don't bother reading.

The session at Neway began with us pigging out on food, cos we're all drained of our final reserves of energy to do something else. And then the singing session. Ladida.

I noticed the little notice reminding the patrons not to throw cakes and stuff in the room - Dont dirty the place. Will charge additional RM200 for that. Well I thought, its nothing to be bothered about. Nobody's playing with cakes tonight.

Cut to the chase (You don't expect me to give you names of the songs they sing, don't you?), came the countdown. The 10 numbers counting down. ... 3,2,1. HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!
(PssssSTTTT FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU SPlat splat splat TUTUTUTUTUTUTUUTUTUTUTUT)

Genius. Came the spraying of the most forbidden of substances. Someone was turned into Santa. Hey, I thought christmas was over, we wont need it until end of this year. I wasn't Santa for that night, but I think I had a mouthful of the foul smelling "substance". Before any of us got up, the Neway guys are already at our door. Perfect. Now the whole room looked as though something just exploded. -.-"

Thats when the RM200 I cant be bothered about came into the picture. Haha. They were gonna charge that to our bill. Ironically, we're all laughing at the whole incident as if it was a Joke. Thank goodness we have someone with us who managed to do some of the talking with the "more important people" there. We were spared but we had to do the cleaning.

What did I do for New Year you might ask? I was wiping a black PVC couch. Heh.

It's a brand new year. Some things never change.

People still campout at coffee places. Looked as if it will explode anytime. Anytime.

My new year resolution is to quit coffee. Again. I opted for smaller cups (the only problem is that its a single shot of pure espresso, served in a tiny little cup). Potent as hell. I still love the pastries they have. Tell me I'm gonna quit soon. I mean it.

Happy new year everyone!