Cruise, anyone?

My mind was full of disturbing thoughts. Even when Im deep in sleep.
Sometimes you pushed yourself too hard and things dont work out right. Take things slow and you'll feel that you're just not doing enough. When you see something you really want, impulse tells you to go for it, clear conscience tells you to take a step back and think before you make any move.
Conflicts in desire.

Ever been in a state where everything you do just backfires? The worst thing is, you were damn aware of it when it backfires? Its like playing baseball, where you strike your best pose (before taking a swing) and while you cared so much of how you look while posing in that swing-ready position, that the ball hits you instead of you hitting the ball hard because you were paying more attention to striking that pose. Sick.
Paying too much attention to insignificant details.

Imagine yourself stranded on a deserted island. You are pretty much living like Robinson Crusoe, living in resort-like Ran with enough food and water, basically enjoying everyday to the max. At that point, I dont think anyone would have thought of trying to go back to where they initially came from. Heck, they're living a care-free life. Spend time thinking of meals, and how to expand their over-expanded living quarters.
One fine day, while walking along the fine beaches surrounding the island, you spotted a vessel drifting out in sea. From where you stand, you could tell there's no one on board. Ghost ship? Nah..not in broad daylight. Suddenly you find yourself thinking about how that ship might be your only chance to get back Home. Things tend to slip and get lost in your labyrinth of thoughts, just because you dont see it. But when you do, everything related to it will just spill itself all over. Thats when decision making comes into the picture. Of whether or not to leave and risk everything to make it back Home.

You werent sure whether that ship will get you where you wanted to go. But you decided to take a look. Wont hurt a bit. So you take your makeshift raft, row all the way out to sea, board that ship, and decided, "Hey, its not bad at all! I'm definitely gonna make it home with this!" Subconsciously, you might be wondering why is such a magnificient ship drifting out at sea, without a crew, all by itself. No traces that it belonged to someone else, nor were there traces of anyone ever been on that ship. Sent down from Heaven? No one could tell. With that seemingly sent from Above ship, who would decline to captain it and call it your own?

However, problems are simply inevitable. After all. nothing is smooth sailing, for anyone at all. You'd never steer a ship that size. Imagine captain it alone? Since you're the captain and the crew - one and only - you pretty much need to work hard to make that ship sail. Not sideways, not backwards, right side up, right way out. You had no other crews to scream at, decision making is pretty much your very own. Besides getting your hands busy with various obligations - dials, knobs, radio for help (if its even equipped with one) , get the sails, maps + compasses - besides having a full mind, you thought of the regrets you had for leaving paradise and that it was after all the biggest mistake for you to get on board. Dark storm clouds are forming right up ahead, and you could foresee what's gona happen to you, as a lone sailor. You'll either make it out alive or sink with the ship to the bottom of the ocean, get teared up to bits by sharks. Sharks probably wont even want to take a bite, cos you'll be bloated like an inflatable safetyboat by then. Nasty. "Abandon ship!! Abandon ship!!" - say that to yourself since you're the captain and the crew, kiss ship goodbye, walk the plank and take the plunge?

Will it be too late to turn back? Back to the island you call Paradise? We'll see. *to be continued